Kanye makes huge announcement on stage!

Kanye seen here in his own mind, where he is still relevant.

Unfortunately it isn't that he's retiring from the music business and spending his vast fortunes making amends with every one he has been a complete dick to.

No, the talented but whiny-like-the-queen-of-bitches rapper announced that his girlfriend, former Shannon Young number one draft pick Kim Kardashian, is pregnant with his spawn.

Oh joy. That's what the world needs in these dark times. With all of the negativity and hopelessness swallowing the Earth whole we can now finally band together to ready our armies to fight against this anti-Christ.

Congratulations to the happy couple. If the child inherits half of its parents humility or class...who are we kidding, this little bastard is going to be a fucking nightmare.