Wonder Woman, Godzilla, Daniel Bryan, YOSHIHIKO and more - Random News for 7/26

I had this big huge great article I was going to write about how I just purchased the Criterion collection version of Godzilla on Blu Ray. I was going to go into just how much the big green monster has influenced my own personal life, including but not limited to inspiring Blogzilla 1985.

I find myself kind of strapped for time today, and I want to make sure a personal post like that gets plenty of time to get over the emotional impact of a boy and his radiated giant lizard.

I still wanted to write something though, because I haven't posted anything since Monday! Lindsey has been picking up my slack and I absolutely recommend checking out her latest articles on some swimming anime and that show with the one really uppity woman who judges everyone else. I don't remember the name, but it has Tim Gunn in it and that dude is straight up pimp.

And so, after all that, I decided to just throw a bunch of interesting and random stuff together. Enjoy!

Or don't. It's really up to you.

Wonder Woman Revealed!

So they finally showed us Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman at Comic Con today. I'm sure you've all seen the pictures and formed your own opinion on it, but your opinion is ill researched and inferior to mine because I maintain a free blog.

She looks like Xena. I said it, you were thinking it, and Lucy Lawless is spinning in her grave. I understand that this is a set up for the inevitable Justice League movie, so I don't mind the costume as much after taking that into consideration. The outfit definitely looks amazonian, so we can all just assume she'll start off as Princess Diana and not as Wonder Woman herself.

As far as the actress herself goes, I'm still one of the sheep that thinks she's just too skinny for the character. It's not that I expected them to get the late Lucy Lawless to play WW, although that would have been the most ideal casting since Patrick Stewart as Professor X.

It's not that she doesn't look good in the outfit. She's lovely, and she isn't anorexic or anything. She just doesn't carry the imposing nature of Wonder Woman, in my opinion. She still looks like a super model and not an amazonian warrior princess with an invisible jet.

I'll reserve full judgment for when I actually see her in the film. There have been plenty of times when an actor seemed miscast in a role and absolutely blew it out of the water. She might be the best Wonder Woman since Linda Carter.

Also, Ben Affleck will be the greatest Batman of all time and you can take that to the bank.

I've also just been informed Lucy Lawless isn't dead. Sometimes, you know, reporters don't have time to check the "facts."

Godzilla 2 - Now With More Interesting Monsters!

Did you see this year's Godzilla? I enjoyed it, but I won't deny that it wasn't the ultimate redemption that we had all hoped for. Apparently, there is a small minority out there who thinks that 1998's American Godzilla film is the most ridiculous film to ever bear the titular character's name.

Those people have never seen Godzilla do a river dance or falcon punch. Look it up.

Well, Godzilla 2014 came and went without changing the face of the world. I admit to being a little disappointed, but that mostly came from a severe lack of Godzilla screen time and the Big G not being the only monster in the film. If I can tie this up to my opening declaration of buying the original Godzilla on Blu Ray, let me just say that I feel the character works best when he's presented as a destructive force of nature. His role in Godzilla 2014 was that of a protector again, much like he has been in the Toho films for the past twenty years or so. His little feud with the MUTO's was fun to watch, but if you're going to do a Godzilla versus monster film, you don't create generic creatures to fill the latter. There is a whole stable of monsters in Japan for 'Zilla to do battle with that are far more interesting than what we got.

Director Gareth Edwards has heard our cries and announced at Comic Con that the next Godzilla film will feature Rodan, Mothra, and King Ghidorah.

I'm excited and also extremely worried. Why would they take the Spiderman 3 approach to villains and stack so many in at the same time? Godzilla is a rare franchise where they could make sequel after sequel of him just beating the crap out of a new monster each film and people will watch it. They've been doing it in Japan since the 50's!

Will an all out monster brawl make the next Godzilla better than 2014's? Maybe. Or it will be a huge muddled mess of a film that relies on whiz bang special effects more than good storytelling. As much as I wanted more screen time for Godzilla in the newest film, I was both interested with and impressed by the human story it told. I hope we don't sacrifice that just to sell a few more toys.

Daniel Bryan Subdues Thieves & Earns Internets

So Daniel Bryan subdued one of two robbers who were attempting to ransack his home while he and Brie were away. He held him in a rear naked choke until cops came to pick him up, and the internet blew up with even more praise for a man held on such a high pedestal that he can see his house from there.

That might be how he saw that he was getting robbed, I'm not sure, I'm not Dan Rather.

This isn't really news. The action may be scripted, but most wrestlers are legit tough guys. To be fair, some are just portrayed as tough when they're really cowards. And then you have Buff Bagwell, who is a legit manwhore.

I remember not long ago when Shawn Daivari choked a drunk guy out on a subway train because he was threatening passengers. Come to think of it, he used a rear naked choke too...

Bryan using a rear naked choke on a person attempting to rob him is what we call a justified show of force to protect himself. He held the guy down, kept his family safe, and the good guys won without any bloodshed or death.

I wish the same could be said in the case of eighty year old Tom Greer, who defended his Southern Californian home with a gun.

Two intruders broke into the elderly mans home and beat him up real good as they robbed him. He managed to escape and got a weapon to defend himself with, and so far everything seems legit.

It gets awful murky around the time that the two would be thieves ran away, which means that Mr. Greer was now in control and safe. Much like Bryan, he was no longer the victim. Unlike Daniel Bryan, he took his defense too far when he shot and killed one of the robbers who was fleeing. Before he killed her, she yelled back at him not to shoot at her because she was pregnant. Despite the fact that they were running away and were no longer a danger to him, he still murdered her. Or, as he himself says when questioned by station KNBC -"'Don't shoot me, I'm pregnant! I'm going to have a baby!' and I shot her anyway."

That's the part that gets me.

"And I shot her anyway."

They're trying to decide whether not to charge him with her murder, and I absolutely hope that they do. Self defense is not an excuse for vigilantism.

Just ask Byron Smith.

Destiny Beta Proves Bungie is Good and Halo Sucked

The Destiny beta is about to wrap up, and the whole Blogzilla 1985 family has been having a great time with it. Well, everyone except for Lindsey, who never could grasp that whole 'right analog stick for shooters' concept. She can go forward and side to side, but when it comes to aiming she's about as useful as the first black president in a Fox News kind of world.

It's no secret that I'm not a big fan of Halo, which is Destiny creator Bungie's flagship title. I thought the series was over hyped and underwhelming, but after feeling the wrath of so many Halo fans I concede that it just wasn't my cup of tea.

But Destiny is great! I played the beta on PS4 and could go on and on about how great the graphics and sound are, but you kind of expect that from new technology and an experienced developer. What really matters is how much fun the game is, and I'm happy to say that so far I've been thoroughly entertained. The shooting is tight, the story is compelling, and the whole package just feels like something important. This isn't an attempt at reliving the lost glory of old Halo titles, it's the beginning of a whole new legacy.

So what didn't I like about the game? Well, it does seem a bit simple. It may have Peter Dinklage and a whole slew of mechanics that make it near MMO like, but in the end it's still a shooter. You point at things, pull a trigger, and hopefully those things die.

Is it revolutionary? Not really, at least at this juncture. Yes, the multiplayer components are intriguing, but without playing the full game they don't really seem to change much beyond placing random people on maps while you're doing story missions. And there were a few times where I would be fighting enemies way too high for my level because a higher level player was on the map with me.

It was frustrating sometimes, but it never took away from my overall enjoyment.

My biggest gripe is that the game isn't out yet. I don't want to play the beta anymore because it's a huge tease. It's like going to a strip club every night but never finding a girlfriend. Or, at the very least, hiring a prostitute.

So yeah, I might not play on the last day of the beta just to save myself the heartbreak of saying goodbye to my lovable warlock with the hand cannon.

Mark my words though, I will be there on launch day though to carve out my own...destiny...*snicker*

The Legend of YOSHIHIKO

And dear reader, I'll leave you with this gem.

As a wrestling fan who associates with some pretty passionate wrestling fans, we get in some heated debates. I posted a Youtube video on my own personal Facebook about Kevin Steen's top ten moves and asked rhetorically how long it would be until he killed someone.

Seriously, go look it up. Those moves are dangerous. It's a miracle no one has died from his top rope piledriver.

Well my friend Asa, the little rascal he is, posted another top ten video for a Japanese wrestler named YOSHIHIKO.

I watched the video and I'm pretty sure this is not one of the approved uses for a sex doll. Still, he has a better moveset than John Cena LOLROFLMANDATORYJOHNCENADISLMFAO!!!