What's Happening Wednesday

Hey hey hey, it must be What's Happening Wednesday! Each day after Tuesday and before Thursday I like to take a look at some of the interesting stories going around and give you, the loyal reader, my keen observations about them.

And if we can't find anything good to write about, we'll just make it up.

Big Bird and Abortion, Smells Like Politics!

The job of the president elect is a job I would never want to have, and I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Could you imagine running an entire country? Or if you're George Bush, running an entire country into the ground? Hi-yo!

Of course pretty soon we'll know who our next president is going to be, and if you've been following the campaign trail like I have you know what an entertaining ride its been. Romney shot himself in the foot with his secret recording about 47% of America feeling like victims and being dependent on government aid, but President Obama may have found himself in water with an even greater foe.

He look like a broke ass Big Bird!

Weighing in at a lot of feathers and a beak, in this corner we have....Big Bird!

Mitt Romney stated in the debate his intention to withdraw federal funding to PBS, home to fine programs like Sesame Street and....others, probably. You'd think BB would have more beef with Romney, but the big guy is just too nice to hold a grudge.

That is until Obama released a new campaign commercial highlighting Romney's plan. Apparently the Big Yellow doesn't appreciate being a pawn in political games, and The Sesame Workshop released the following statement on the ad.

“Sesame Workshop is a nonpartisan, nonprofit organization and we do not endorse candidates or participate in political campaigns. We have approved no campaign ads, and as is our general practice, have requested that the ad be taken down.”

Romney wasted no time taking a shot at the ad, saying - “These are tough times with real serious issues, so you have to scratch our head when the president spent the past week talking about saving Big Bird.”

Romney wants real serious issues to be on the forefront, and we assume that includes issues like abortion, which seems to be a touchy subject for the presidential hopeful.

Democrats have been on the attack, pointing out a recent interview Romney gave to The Des Moines Register's editorial board, stating that there were no plans for abortion legislation on his agenda. Considering his running mate Paul Ryan is a staunch pro-lifer, you can see how this might sound confusing. Strategists and PR specialists have done their best to spin the remarks, saying that Romney is dedicated to a pro-life campaign, but this seems like another shot to a presidential bid that already has a few smoking holes in it already.

This will be an interesting November, that's for sure.

Lies From the Pit of Hell

U.S. Rep. Paul Broun, who was infamously asked "who will shoot Obama" last year, shot himself in the foot this week when video of a speech he gave at a church in Florida surfaced online. In the video, cranky old white Broun said that everything he was taught in school about evolution and the Big Bang Theory were "lies from Hell."

Let's watch!

Now for those of you who are too busy to watch a man's career die, we'll go over his best talking points for you.

• “All that stuff I was taught about evolution, embryology, the Big Bang theory, all that is lies straight from the pit of hell."
• "And it’s lies to try to keep me and all the folks who were taught that from understanding that they need a savior.”
• “I don’t believe that the Earth’s but about 9,000 years old.”
• “That’s the reason, as your congressman, I hold the holy Bible as being the major directions to me of how I vote in Washington, D.C., and I’ll continue to do that.”

A spokeswoman for the congressman said that he was unavailable for comment.

If only he had followed that advice before he walked into that church.

Former WWE Diva Sunny Arrested...5 Times in 4 Weeks

In what has to be some kind of record, even for the entertainment world, Tammy Sytch was arrested again this week for third degree burglary and violating a protection order.

Shown here reiterating the fact that cocaine is a hell of a drug.

The former Sunny, one of the original diva's of the WWE that ushered in the era of the women in wrestling with super model good looks, had been arrested back to back on September 11th, 12th, and 13th. Substance abuse looks to be a key factor, and Sytch's sister says she'll be entering rehab, assuming she doesn't get arrested again on the way there.

It's a sad tale for a woman who was once the most downloaded person on the internet, before the Paris Hilton's and Kim Kardashian's of the world cheapened the title.

After leaving the WWE Sytch worked briefly for ECW and WCW, before starring on a porn site headed by fellow wrestler Missy Hyatt.

The WWE has picked up Sunny's tab for rehab before, but you can only screw up so many times before you're left to clean up your own mess. We at BZ85 hope Sunny can turn this around and get her life in order, in small part because I had a huge crush on her as a youth.

Also, Hulk Hogan has a sex tape out, but we're not touching that one. Until we can find it. Then we're finally gonna find out what happens when Hulkamania runs wild on someone.

Danny Devito and Rhea Pearlman Separate 

I love "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia". Like, really love it. And one thing I've taken from that show to be complete truth is that Danny Devito is hilarious, and also a very strange looking unattractive man.

"See, that's what I wish you looked like!"

So when I found out that he was separating from his wife of 30 years, I assumed that this was something deeper than a wandering eye. When I found out that wasn't the case, and that Danny was flirting up all the young hotties he could, well I wanted to rip my own eyes out as I envisioned the fat little troll man having sex with...well, anyone. Including his wife, Rhea Pearlman, who I would still rather sleep with than Goldie Hawn.

Still, as a fan of Devito and Pearlman, it makes me said to see them split. The young stupid couples are usually destined for failure, but when a long standing relationship like this one breaks it reminds you of how fragile love really is.

And how a little fame can turn us all into real bastards.

That Sweet, Sweet Mary Jane

Same creepy smile in every picture. Go see!

Finally, we were excited to hear that Shailene Woodley is probably going to be cast as Mary Jane Watson in the next Spider Man movie. Well, we were once we looked her up and saw how attractive she was, because to be honest we didn't know who the hell she was.

Apparently she's starred in some things, and hasn't taken the new Hollywood way of getting attention by spending all day and night on a beach in a bikini.

Actually we feel a little bit depressed now.

 She was a Golden Globe nominee for "The Descendants," which starred George Clooney, who you may remember from "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" and some show about nurse practitioners or something.

With Mary Jane being cast in the sequel to surprisingly good "Amazing Spider Man," we can't help but worry about the fate of our adorable little Gwen Stacey. After all, in the comic version of Spidey she...well, we won't ruin that for you. We'll make TV's Phil ruin that for you, and then we'll laugh as you beat him with the same stick they used on Sam Raimi that made him insane. How else can you explain Spider-Man 3?

Still, for our money, Shailene > Kirsten. Sorry KD, but we just hit the jackpot, tiger.