Twitch Streaming with Louie!

Sometimes BZ85 contributor Louie Benson is live streaming Guacamelee on XBox One right now!

Watch it right here! 

Diva Released, Diva Hired, and One Last Ryde...r?

You know who's having an interesting week so far?

If you said me, bless your heart. While I always live the most glamorous lifestyle of the biggest rock star in Southeast Missouri, even I can't begin to understand the absolute chaos that is Emma's life.

You remember me telling you about how WWE diva Emma was arrested on Monday for shoplifting a twenty dollar iPad case at a Wal Mart? Well, I'm not saying that Vince McMahon reads my site, and I'm not saying he doesn't, but something got his attention because poor little Aussie Emma was fired on Wednesday. She got future endeavored around noon, and I was honestly surprised by this turn of events. I assumed she would only get a slap on the wrist for what she did, and I base that on a few good reasons.

1. She's pretty. Pretty girls usually get away with murder, like Rebecca Gayheart and Brandi, who literally got away with murder.
2. She's Australian. I forget whether it was my geography class or the Simpsons, but somewhere I learned that Australia was formed by convicts. Is it so out of the realm of possibility that she inherited some kind of theft gene from one of her ancestors? Well, I asked a scientician, and he said it is.
3. It was just a cheap iPad case! Why would she risk her entire career over an iPad case? Especially when she probably doesn't even have an iPad because they're an inferior product, at least according to my asshole friends who made fun of me when I bought one.

Vince once again proved to me that my reasoning is meaningless, as he does every time I watch wrestling. Poor little twenty five year old Emma was canned, as were the hopes and dreams of sheep herders and kleptomaniacs all over her homeland.

But wait! Here comes an insane WWE swerve!

Filthy Casual Goes Tomb Raiding

We're happy to link you up with Kat, who has her own Youtube channel for gaming with the fantastic title of the Filthy Casual. We're not entirely sure what that means, but we're more willing to follow it than PewDiePie any day of the week. Haha, we joke, but if we ever actually met PewDiePie we would definitely break his legs and feed him his own liver.

And with that said, why not enjoy the Filthy Casual playing the original Tomb Raider? 

You can also check out her Youtube page right 'chere.

WWE News, Notes, and Rants for 7/1

Let's get this out of the way now, because I didn't believe it at first but it has been confirmed by TMZ. NXT star and WWE space filler Emma was arrested in Hartford, Connecticut yesterday. Now we know where she was during that awful Santino/Rose segment!

So what was she arrested for? She stole an iPad case from Wal Mart! I knew these are desperate times in the WWE, but I didn't know it was that bad. I don't care how low you are on the totem pole, a job with a major company like World Wrestling Entertainment should provide you with enough money to buy an iPad case valued around twenty dollars.

In her defense, she did pay for her other items and says she simply forgot to pay for the item in the self checkout line. I've used those lines before, and as confusing and ill working as they may be sometimes, they are designed to detect weight and the number of items you scanned in. There is no way she put it in the bag and forgot to add it in. On the other hand, it wouldn't make much sense for her to pay for everything else and risk her job over an iPad case. This is a strange situation. She's already been through the system and now owes some community service.

So what's the backlash here? Honestly, I doubt she gets anything more than a slap on the wrist for this. It's not like she got busted for a DUI right in the middle of a push, like a certain REAL American. His world title push was quickly demoted into a lower to mid card angle that has somehow grown immensely in popularity. Although, I chalk that up to the wit and ability of Zeb more than Jack. Still, if your choice is either hunt for the title and job out to Cena consistently or be over huge with the crowd, which would you pick?

It's more akin to WWE diva Cameron, who also got busted for a DUI and didn't really suffer much for it at all. There's not much worse they can do to the divas that their poor writing and sexist attitude hasn't already done.

So, did you enjoy RAW? Of course you didn't. No one is reading this hoping I praise that company. You want to know why I'm pissed off this time. Alright then, how about we dive right in?

Money in the Bank -or- How the Grinch Stole Momentum

I tried to let this Blogzilla thing die. Honest to God, I really did. I realized that there is a difference between stardom and internet stardom, and I don't want to become some kind of PewDiePie, Markiplier, or any other kind of alleged entertainer with legions of fans. I want to be known world wide for something, but I don't want it to be some kind of internet ranting or trying to get the attention of the kind of people that make PewDiePie a millionaire.

A fucking millionaire.

I told myself I would focus solely on screenplays, because what I want to do more than anything is make movies. I posted on both the official BZ85 Facebook and my own private one that I was done. I was finally prepared to walk away from this site after years of moderate success. I had a great time, and got to interview some celebrities and personal heroes. I also interviewed a nude model and struck up a friendship with her, which becomes odd when you're talking casually to a person you see naked all the time.

And then, there was Money in the Bank. John Cena, all by himself, inspired me to write one more article for this cursed site I can never escape from.

But why? Why did I feel the need to come back to rant online when I took a very serious stand against ranting online?

Fucking.

John.

Cena.