Let's just skip past the usual witty banter, so I can present you with a question about the new P.T. game on the PS4 store.
HAVE YOU PLAYED THIS FUCKING THING?! UUUGGGGGGGH!
This is not going to be one of those well written articles you all know and expect from such a highly regarded journalist such as myself. No, I want to break character for a bit and just have some real talk with you guys about my experiences with this game.
As some of you know, I belong to a certain secret society. I don't believe I gotta mention it's name...but if you must know, it's Gaming Grounds in Southeast Missouri. During my time there this morning, a certain man, who we'll call John M., came in and told me about a new game called P.T. that had just been released on the PSN store.
Thanks to the lightning fast internet of CHARTER BUSINESS YEAAAAAAAH, we had the game downloaded in minutes. John had played the teaser the night before, which was a Godsend because this game is as confusing as any David Lynch movie. Even the one where the guy from Beretta calls himself at Bill Pullman's house. Patricia Arquette was there, too!
I'm losing track here thinking about Patricia. I do that a LOT. Anyway, John guided us through what I can only describe as the most terrifying game I've ever played in my life.
There were creepy radio messages, aborted fetuses, ghost staring through windows, a ghastly woman chasing me through corridors, eye paintings looking around wildly, screams, crying, and more terrors than any Micheal Bay movie could ever scare up.
Heh heh heh.
