See You on the Other Side, Egon....

I delayed writing this. I didn't want to write this.

I'm still going through my news feed on Facebook and sharing all of the wonderful posts dedicated to the memory of Harold Ramis. I still feel a sting every time I like another picture, another editorial, and another testimonial of just how important he was to the entertainment community.

If you grew up in the 1980's you knew his work. If you were as obsessed with his work as I am, you know everything he had a hand in. He will always be remembered for his catalog of comedy blockbusters, but like so many others, I will always remember Harold Ramis as Dr. Egon Spengler in Ghostbusters.

Ghostbusters is the greatest movie ever made. I say that with absolutely no hesitation or reservations. I saw Ghostbusters before I could even comprehend movies, and I've watched it so many times that I can literally quote it forwards and backwards. I've never lost interest in it or been bored by it. The jokes still have the same impact, the ghost still look just as cool, and I still watch it with the same kind of awe and wonder as I did when I was a child.

Ghostbusters has influenced my life more than anything else I've ever experienced. I mean that. It has influenced my personality, my writing style, and more than anything, it has fueled my belief in the paranormal. Anyone that knows me knows that I have a fascination with the paranormal that borders on obsession. It all began with those cool guys in the gray uniforms, who saved the day with their fantastic proton packs while cruising around in the insanely awesome Ecto One. Watching Ghostbusters 1 and 2 made me want to become what we would now call a ghost hunter. Unfortunately, the technology isn't quite there yet to actually bust them. Still, there is nothing more that I would rather do than chase ghosts. I thank Ghostbusters for expanding my horizons.

And I owe Harold Ramis for the gift he gave me. Once upon a time I just loved his movies without ever actually attaching him to them. As I grew older and became more cognizant of the inner workings of films, I began to appreciate Ramis more. He wasn't just Egon, after all. He was a fantastic actor, writer, and director. His films truly defined a generation, and they're still leaps and bounds ahead of the tripe that Hollywood puts out yearly. His humor, wit, and self reflection were prominent in his films, and it's that personal touch that I'll remember Harold Ramis for the most.

His influence on me extended far past his professional work. I never met the man, but I felt like he was a part of the family. I never had much family, and the heroes that filled the silver screen were always closer to me than anyone I shared blood with.

I never thought I would have to write this, or share why this hurts so much in a public way. I assumed he would never die, but if he did I was positive it would be so far into the future that I wouldn't be doing this kind of stuff anymore.

But here I am with tears welling up as I have to speak my peace about the immortal Harold Ramis. I feel like a child who has just learned about death for the first time, and it brings back those kind of awful feelings that I discovered when my mother passed away. I wish I could think of the right words to say to convey how important his loss is for me, but the poetic farewell I want to write is lost in a sea of memories and emotions.

I will miss Harold Ramis. He was a true talent, a legend, and a personal hero of mine. I only hope that there is something on the other side, and maybe some day I can speak to him in death the way I always wanted to in life.

God bless you, Harold Ramis. Thank you for everything you've done for me.