Yep, much to everyone's chagrin(I think that's a real word. Whether I used it correctly is a different matter), I do still exist and I'm typing away at a keyboard right now.
It's been a while. I wish I could just say I've been busy contributing important things to society, but I wouldn't lie to you people, even though I probably should. Work, sleep and working on some unimportant video projects(which you can check out btw at www.youtube.com/JumptoSpaceShow) are the real reason I haven't felt the desire to grace you with the prose of an uncoordinated scoundrel with a 4th grade education. One that doesn't even really know the definition of "prose". I think it's some kind of dehydrated fruit...
Anyway, suddenly I felt like utilizing this outlet again and infecting your delicate eyeballs.
Let's imagine for a moment, a scenario in which a genie came out of a lamp, not one of those filled with oil but just a normal light bulb lamp. (Hey, I'm updating it here) Anyway, a genie pops out and said he...or she, am I right ladies?...said they'd grant me one wish that specifically involved the daily biological functions that recharge human body. *Snap* I've got it! I'd wish that I'd never have to sleep.OR that I could fall asleep and stay asleep!
Now, you may be asking yourself, was that just a really convoluted way for me to say I don't sleep well? NO, keep your stupid true thoughts to your dumb self! I hate you! *Slams one hundred doors in your face*
Okay, maybe it was.
If there's one thing anyone who interacts with my in real life has probably heard me say at one time, it's "I've got to get home and sleep."
I work overnights(12-8) at a local TV station monitoring screens, blinky lights, and bleepy noises.
I drive home, eat something, then try to sleep 8 hours. In the few years I've been regularly on this schedule, this routine has NEVER been as simple as it sounds.
What really happens is, I drive home, eat something, pop sleep aid or Tylenol PM, lay in bed for upwards of 3 hours(or more) eventually fall asleep for about 4 hours, wake up, pee, lay back down with the intent of going back to sleep, failing, surfing the internet on my phone for a while, eventually falling back to sleep after I've been awake for an hour and having to sleep until 10:30 or 11 PM to feel like I got the recommended amount of sleep.
Now, if everyday were the same it could be an easy fix I assume. But there are obligations, social and business related, that have to be worked into the schedule. Meaning there's really no "regular" schedule. Kind of...but not really. One or two days I may have to get up early. One day I may have to stay up when I get off work.
The results of a constantly changing sleep schedule is mainly never really being sleepy but being drained all the time. Sleeping pills losing their effect. Looking tired all the time. Also I'm sure my memory has been beaten like a "tomato can".(It's a boxing term. Look it up) Meanwhile, everyone wants you to do things at normal times and they all have normal lives where they get up in the morning and go to sleep at night when the moon goes down underneath the giant turtle on whose shell the earth rests upon.Then on my days off, usually the weekends, I end up sleeping the same schedule I do during the week bc I'm used to it so I'm awake from midnight to early morning.
BUT, I don't want this to sound like whining. I only say all that to state the facts. It's hard to whine when you don't have a sense of entitlement on which to stand on. Or self-esteem.
I've gotten used to it somewhat. Though it's very true that IF I came home each weekday and slept 7-8 hours straight, I could get SO much more done and be up and about at the same time other normal people are.(I'm stuck being awake when the weirdos and creeps are up. Hangin' around Wal-Mart. Touchin' stuff with their creep hands and lookin' at stuff with their creep eyes...)
So yes male or female genie, make it so I don't have to sleep ever again OR that when I lie down to sleep, I stay asleep until time to get up. Also, can you answer in your best Robin Williams voice? No? Fine...idiot genie.
Also, you should check out The Following. At least give it a shot. I'm enjoying it but I'm biased. Ya idiots.
